Finallllllyyyyyyyyy I was able to chill earlier and wrote something on my journal titled "不后悔" or "no regrets" in mandarin. As classes are about to be over, there are a number of things that I wanted to do before the classes ends. Yesterday, me and 2 of my friends were walking on the way home, and one of them asked me why I do such things that isn't really necessary (like confessing, and stuff) and I told her, I regretted a crap ton in the past and I want to change my life this year.


Ever since 2018 started, I have encountered numerous serious chats about love, friends, studies, etc. that pushes me to open up and tell them how I really feel. There was this guy who happened to be my friend's crush but he tweeted my name with a heart emoji. I know it was nothing and all but I am considering what my friend would feel if she'll saw that tweet. Few days later, I really did asked him if he likes me and he said no. Though he said hurtful words to me, I am still thankful that I did that. You may think that I'm very assuming or whatsoever but he's pushing me to ask him that question. He's trying to hit on me and I am aware of that since I am not an active messenger user and it is rare for me that someone, a guy in particular, makes an effort to message me almost every night, asking me school-related stuffs even though we aren't in the same group and cheering me up when he feels like I am down.


I tell you, there are some questions that were left unanswered up until now. But it's already fine since both of us were already trying to move on from that incident. Though there are still some times where he unintentionally or intentionally helps me, I am trying to act like I don't really care but in reality, I do.


Honestly speaking, being yourself isn't easy as 1,2,3. Especially when you haven't reveal your true self to your friends. When I talk about serious cases, I often get criticize and it is a good thing for you to become aware with your actions. But sometimes, they also get the wrong I idea and it is hella annoying. That's why I am thankful that I started this blog back in 2015. This serves as my platform, where I express my thoughts, ideas, etc. and you, who are reading this, I may or may not know you but hi! thank you for taking time to read this post and I hope I did helped you in some matter you've been going through.


My point is, if you want to do something, DO IT. If you want to speak up, SPEAK UP. Being scared is normal but letting your fear control you isn't. Last week, I was able to take a picture with my Philosophy Teacher that I have always admired since our first meeting. There was this one time that I needed to go to his desk and let him check my test paper for a correction and I told my friend to take a picture of us. It was honestly a stolen scripted photograph. haha. But just last Wednesday, with the help of my friends, I managed to take a picture with him by my side. To tell you honestly, it wasn't all about my teacher. It was also about the subject he was teaching. Though there are sometimes the discussion is very boring, I still love the subject. And with just 5 months, studying Philosophy, it really made me realized that there are some things that you can or cannot change and it is up to you how you deal with it.

To my first ever Philosophy Teacher, thank you for everything Sir. I may be just an ordinary student of yours that admires you so much, I wanna tell you that I fell in love with the subject that you are teaching. I don't want the semester to end partly because of you, but setting jokes aside, Philosophy is worth studying and even though I sometimes it is like a roller-coaster ride, I always enjoy studying different philosophers with different thoughts. I may be just a no-plans-just-simply-enjoying-life-and-studying-because-my-parents-told-me-to-do-so student but I tell you, someday, I will make every one of you, proud. And also, I am proud enough to say I was under by you! and I couldn't believe I got a high mark since I am aware that I didn't do well during the 3rd Mastery Test. But anyways, thank you again Sir! Till our next meeting :) #PulangAraw


And to you, who are reading this, remember you do not have to follow everyone in order to fit in. Stand up and tell the world what you really are! Life is too short to say "no" in every opportunity you possibly can get! Step out and be you!