It wasn't smooth sailing. I had to give up a crap ton of my habits during the war. I even uninstalled my social media applications for me to focus on the war because ya girl's a queen when it comes to procrastination. But thankfully it's finally done. During the war, there were people who didn't like my success and were also people who genuinely supported me during my battle. I am so lucky enough that even if I could count the people who supported me wholeheartedly by my one hand, I still thank them for encouraging me to keep going when I, myself was about to give up.

I can finally walk around, with my chin up, heading towards the people who belittled me and calling me names that I did it! and proving them that I have worth. I'll still thank them though. Because without them, I wouldn't be able to end my war with flying colors. And also, one thing I learned is, no matter how many your friends were, you are lucky enough to have one or a few friends who will stick with you through good and bad times.

I know I deserve it. Because I worked so hard! even if some people doesn't like my success, I don't really care. Also, I got bitten by our dog, Roda the Labrador last 6th of May. Me and my parents were still debating if I need to get injected or not. Me, being afraid of being a troublesome, I am scared to go to the Health Center because my parents' plans will get re-scheduled. I ask some of my friends to pray for me not to get injected because I will causing too much trouble. But I was slapped with disappointment. I am part of a group of friends (a 5-10 group) but only one responded. That time, I never felt so worthless and such. I just really don't get it. When one of my friends posts something crazy online everyone in our group started to comment and such. But my question is why did they didn't even to consult me if I was okay? If I'm feeling a little better now? ----I was expecting replies like that  but again, only one did. I am not saying they really need to respond or something but hello! I am part of the group you can't just ignore me right? Bias? I think so. Am I jealous that other person is gaining much more attention that I, asking for help? Yes. 100% yes. Because my doesn't treat us equally. They have their favorite "friend" and I hate that. I want us to be treated equally the way we are supposed to. That's why we always fight. Because we don't really look at different perspective and defending those individuals who we like the most. I want them to change their mindset about our friendship but I couldn't just control them. I may be a hypocrite saying all these things but I don't have a favorite friend in our group because I treat them equally and respectively. 

Looking to the other perspective, it was somehow my fault. ----Because I expected replies. But what did I got? Seen. You can't blame me right? Because were in a group and obviously we care for each other. THAT'S WHAT I THINK. But I was wrong. For once, I really feel like I am worthless and I don't have a purpose. But despite of that, I was lucky and thankful for that one friend who responded me and asking me if I was okay, jokingly. If you're reading this, and you feel like this is you, thank you so much :)

From then on, I started to be myself. To love myself. To embrace my flaws. To embrace who I am. To love every bit of fiber in my body. I still get insecurities but I am doing good at not caring about other people and rather I focus on caring myself more. I am beyond happy.

My milktea addiction is on fireeee!!! Since April, up until now, I have been drinking milktea non stop!  And I'm planning to sell some stuff by September because I needed a huge amount of money because I have something in mind! Hopefully, I will be able to make it happen. Cheers to me!

Till next time, friends!